William Woodruff Niles, III, aka Big Bill Niles, of Mt. Vernon, Illinois, passed away unexpectedly and with sufficient drama on Monday, November 27th, 2017 after a Thanksgiving meal in Tennessee with Barbara Niles (his long suffering wife), John Niles (his better looking little brother), and Marlene Niles (who joined his family at an age when she should have known better). William Woodruff Niles IV, aka Little Bill, (his doppleganger) and Rebecca Niles of Boston (who bears the full brunt of his other genetic traits) joined the festivities a little too late – not even getting any leftovers.
Bill was a general menace to society for 75 years. After some childhood shenanigans in Colorado, he was quietly shipped off by his parents William and Mary to the Holderness School which only accepted him because they had to. Upon release, he played a little LaCrosse at Trinity College in Connecticut before traveling widely as everyone’s biggest fear, a salesman. He later operated The Pasta House and Waffles and More of Mt. Vernon. He was known across the world by wait staff who put up with him because of his generous tips. They and others he touched with his wit each day will sorely miss him. But none will do so more than his grandchildren: Kendall, Zachary, Kennadi, and Bella (and perhaps some others still unidentified) who have been greatly influenced by him.
There will be no funeral or memorial service. The University of Tennessee Dental and Medical School will desecrate his body in the name of science for the next year. In lieu of flowers, please direct memorials in his name to The Holderness School at 33 Chapel Lane in New Hampshire (www.holderness.org).
Call Hughey Funeral Home at 618-242-3348 or visit hugheyfh.com for further information.